They don't teach this stuff in sex ed

<@JJ> True, but if people were encouraged to explore themselves and fire things out, they might be less...Well, like my ex
<@JJ> The one I told you about, with the shirt ripping off and the shouting about waiting until marriage
<+FDTR> lol
<+FDTR> waiting until marriage
<+FDTR> hello pointless traditions
<@JJ> No, this was really fucking weird
<+Jessa> Yeah.
<@JJ> She straddled me, pushed me down, pulled off her shirt
<@JJ> And told me she wanted to wait until marraige
<@JJ> Leaving me just...entirely confused as to what was going on, then.
<@Peepsy> And errect.
<+FDTR> ... loool.
<@JJ> No, that's a boner-killer if ever there was one.
<+FDTR> I suspect she was trying to piss you off.
<@JJ> It didn't even piss me off. It just confused the hell out of me
<@JJ> I think I made gibbering protest sounds because my brain was refusing to parse the visual and the tactile with the audio
<+FDTR> Hm
<+FDTR> Grr
<+FDTR> I can't download a cracked .exe for a game, and I can't find my disk
<+FDTR> sad
<@JJ> It's like me leaping in your face while eating spaghetti rather loudly, and shouting at you that I was hungry and had no food
<+FDTR> With a rake?
<@JJ> Of course.
<@JJ> I'm riding the rake, in fact
<+FDTR> Rakes make everything better.
<+FDTR> Everything.
<@JJ> Especially sex
<+FDTR> Totally.
<+FDTR> I mean, she pulls a rake out, it becomes amazing sex.
<@JJ> Even better if you both pull a rake out. I did that once, and woke up four months later in an alleyway, missing my kidneys. Must have been one hell of an orgasm.
<+FDTR> Imagine if everybody pulled a rake out at an orgy.
<+FDTR> They'd achieve enlightenment and punch Christ in the face simultaneously.
<@JJ> I think the aftershock would level Tokyo
<+FDTR> If not the entire region of Asia.
<@JJ> Mass panic, widespread destruction
<@JJ> They'd have to abolish the Rictor scale in favor of the Raketor scale.
<@JJ> Just to measure it.