And you thought D&D had a bad rep...

<+JJ_> you should study the people who play FATAL, Jessa.
<+Jessa> FATAL?
<+JJ_> It is...The absolute worst pen and paper RPG ever written.
<+JJ_> It has rules for just about everything.
<+JJ_> It is retarded. It's awful.
<+JJ_> I'm pretty sure one of the stats you roll is "anal depth". You roll like, stomach girth, and...It's so what-the-fuck
<+Rykka> Ever read the book for Freak Legion?
<+Jessa> pass!
<+Gongala> Anal depth?
<+Gongala> I need to play this game.
<+Rykka> Freak Legion is the book on how to play the monsters from Werewolf, the WoD game. It is.... brutal.
<+JJ_> It's so...Awful
<+JJ_> like, I'm not sure if FATAL was ever intended to be played, or if it was just made to be -laughed at-
<+Rykka> It has rules in there how to roll damage on your multi limbed, barbed sex organs.
<+Gongala> Not my sex organs!
<+Gongala> I need all nine of them to reproduce!
<+Rykka> And various other things.
<+Rykka> Nine.... huh...
<+Gongala> I play a transmuter. It led me into learning some interesting things.
<+Gongala> One thing led to another,
<+Gongala> now I'm a registered sex offender.

It is, after all, the sexiest letter of the Greek alphabet

<+Jessa> haha. Leland was just asking me, looking at the icon for the character map on my computer, "Is that the lambada symbol from Half-Life?"
<+Jessa> Not -lambda-. He said "lambada."
<+Gongala> Lambada.
<+Gongala> That sounds like a car.
<+JJ_Workies> The new Lamburghini Lambada
<+Jessa> It's a dance, actually.
<+JJ_Workies> Your face is a dance.
<+Gongala> It could double as both.
<+Jessa> It is, JJ.
<+Jessa> Especially when I'm about to vomit.

There are surgeries for that

<+Xenon> Jessa
<+Jessa> mhm?
<+Xenon> I am forced to note that, even after all this, I am distinctly unsexed
<+Jessa> You poor thing.
<+Xenon> Fix iiiiiit
<+Codex> I don't think anything short of significant surgery would help you with that.


<+Codex> Whoo. Second full day here and I'm already going on the quotes page. Or... wait, maybe that's not a good thing.


<+Jessa> Hm.
<+Jessa> Shall I play...or continue reading Changeling. I am -loving- the stories in this book.
<+Xenon> You shall sex
<+Xenon> ME
<+Xenon> "Sex": it's transitive now.
<+Jessa> And not for the first time, I'd imagine.
<+Xenon> I can't tell if that's a euphemism
<+Jessa> :p


<+Xenon> Fuck I'm hungry
<+Jessa> ...
<+Jessa> now I am, too.
<+Xenon> Well
<+Jessa> Back in a moment. I think I will raid my fridge for something good.
<+Xenon> You can eat my semen
<+Xenon> Oh
<+Xenon> Or that
<+Jessa> ...nice, Xenon.
<+Xenon> <3
<+Jessa> If it were made of chocolate...but. Alas.



<+JJ_Workies> We have this huuuge company wide meeting from 3-4
<+JJ_Workies> My boss was like
<+JJ_Workies> "You gotta be there"
<+JJ_Workies> And I'm all =( . Go for me, Jessa
<+Jessa> I would, JJ. You know I would. But I'm kind of too far to make it in time.
<+Jessa> and I have a stomach bug.
<+JJ_Workies> Squash it.
<+JJ_Workies> Then saute it. Protein
<+Jessa> ew, JJ.
<+Jessa> I will not eat bugs or my own vomit, thanks.
<+JJ_Workies> Hrm.
<+JJ_Workies> You would eat other people's vomit?
<+Jessa> No.
<+Zap> :|
<+Zap> This is beyond 18+ >_>'
<+Jessa> ...
<+JJ_Workies> Huh?
<+Jessa> seriously, have you read the quote page?
<+Jessa> That was mild 6-year-old stuff.
<+Gongala> Nobody's talking about how aroused they were about eating vmoit, Zap.
<+Zap> >_>
<+Zap> It was implied :d
<+Zap> <_<
<+Gongala> How disturbing.
<+Gongala> You two should be ashamed of yourselves for implying that.
<+Zap> They werent actually, but still xD
<+Jessa> Gongala: Your mom is implied. (I'm sick, I can't do better than this.)
<+Gongala> I assumed that. She has some strange fetishes.

JJ has the best college story EVER

JJ_Sleepsoon: 13 minutes! I could tell you about the pantsless wanderer, maybe
Jessa: Yes!
JJ_Sleepsoon: While I was living in the dorms
JJ_Sleepsoon: This chick wandered in, carrying a beer
JJ_Sleepsoon: She puts it on my nightstand, wanders to my bed, and crawls in. I was at my desk. She has no pants.
JJ_Sleepsoon: I look over, regaining my wits as my bed has just been comandeered
JJ_Sleepsoon: "Uh, hi."
JJ_Sleepsoon: She looks over at me
JJ_Sleepsoon: "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Jessa: ...
Jessa: hahahahaha
Jessa: she said that to you?
JJ_Sleepsoon: Not to be outdone, I rage back at her "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR PANTS!?"
JJ_Sleepsoon: Yeah
Jessa: hahahahahahahaha
JJ_Sleepsoon: She shouted it, eyes got huge
JJ_Sleepsoon: She quiets for a moment, and stares at me
JJ_Sleepsoon: "...Where's my beer?"
JJ_Sleepsoon: "...I fuckin' drank it."
JJ_Sleepsoon: I hadn't moved, nor touched her beer, but I was annoyed.
Jessa: hahahahaha
Jessa: ohmigosh. That's awesome.
JJ_Sleepsoon: "I want it. Will you come lay with me?" "Who -are- you?"
JJ_Sleepsoon: "Whose bed is this?" "It's mine."
JJ_Sleepsoon: "Will you lay with me?" - At this point, a very large man comes barreling
JJ_Sleepsoon: He was, luckily, wearing pants.
Jessa: ohmigod
Jessa: can't stop laughing
Jessa: it hurts
JJ_Sleepsoon: I'm like Oh fuck, this is her boyfriend, and he's going to kick my ass because his chick is missing her pants
JJ_Sleepsoon: He looks at me, looks at her, looks at me, looks back at her
JJ_Sleepsoon: "...Where are your pants?"
JJ_Sleepsoon: "Did you say I had a nice ass?!"
JJ_Sleepsoon: "...No, I asked where your pants were." "Oh." "...Where are they?"
JJ_Sleepsoon: "Where's my beer? Will you lay with me?" "NO! NO ONE IS LAYING WITH ANYONE IN MY BED!"
JJ_Sleepsoon: My roomate comes back. "Whose beer is this? ...WHo is that? Why isn't she wearing pants?"
JJ_Sleepsoon: "My beer!" She jumps up, grabs it, and runs out of the room.
JJ_Sleepsoon: That's the last I saw of her that night. The large man just kind of shrugged and wandered out
Jessa: ...wow.
Jessa: I am laughing so much I can hardly breathe.
JJ_Sleepsoon: Turns out she was from another school, there with friends, completely crazy, and looking to get laid
JJ_Sleepsoon: But I don't know what the fuck
JJ_Sleepsoon: It was so damned confusing
JJ_Sleepsoon: Living in the dorms freshman year was...weird.
JJ_Sleepsoon: That's all there is to it
JJ_Sleepsoon: Sophomore year maybe not as weird, just rampant racism and classism. But there was AC!


JJ_Sleepsoon: I lived in Hancock the first year
JJ_Sleepsoon: I lived in the 'Cock.

#CormyrDales - a.k.a. #Overshare

And I admire the set of balls he has. Probably knock over some buildings if he stops too fast.


<@Peepsy> !hug Glandash
* @CormyrDales hugs Glandash.
<+JJ> !hug JJ bitch
* @CormyrDales hugs JJ.
<+Glandash> !hug a big cock
<@CormyrDales> I'm sorry That person is not around to be hugged.
<+Glandash> Aw....
<+Glandash> It's making fun of my penis.
* JJ is now known as a_big_cock
<+Jessa> HOW DID I KNOW
* @Peepsy hugs Glandashs' cock
<+Jessa> I KNEW JJ WOULD DO THAT
<+a_big_cock> !hug a_big_cock
* @CormyrDales hugs a_big_cock.
<+a_big_cock> I'm showing my true self


<+Glandash> Sins of the flesh.
<+Glandash> That's porkin'.


<@Peepsy> I like the look and feel of leather on my groin


<+NIAF> Heh. I think I might have come across a bit strong with my debut into tavern society.
* +NIAF shrugs.
<+JJ_AFTesting_> Howso?
<+NIAF> Well, my drunk character sat himself on a table mid-story and complained about his hemeroids.


<+tanbark> also the dog I'm taking care of is barking in his sleep :3 adorable
<+NIAF> Haha, I'm glad.
<+JJ_AFTesting_> Aw
<+NIAF> also, that's mega-cute
<+JJ_AFTesting_> I wish I could be in game playing with you folks, but I have these test things.
<+JJ_AFTesting_> Hug dog.
<@Peepsy> You hug the dog. It yips at you, but accepts its fate as being cuddly.
<@Peepsy> What do you do?
<+tanbark> turn to page 64. THE GHOST HAUNTS YOU FOREVER.


<+NIAF> [19:01] * +Chimaera hands tanbark some Peepsy-repellant <--- Standard issue with every rape-whistle.

FailShare

<+Jessa> I fail at this forum avatar stuff.
<+JJ> I fail at bailing hay
<+JJ> We can fail together!
<+Jessa> Yay!
<+Jessa> There's no one I'd rather fail with more than you, JJ.
<+JJ> Hooray!
<+JJ> I once failed so hard I suceeded out the other end.
<+Jessa> that's amazing, JJ.

We have strange ideas of what "affection" means

<+Jessa> JJ! <3
* +Jessa hugs JJ
* +theanarchy hugs himself
<+Jessa> aawww.
<+tinu> poor us
* +Jessa hugs Anarchy
<+tinu> or poor me.. in me in the lonely corner
* +theanarchy hugs tinu
* +JJ uses the long arm of the law to hug the blood world
<+JJ> bloody.
<+Jessa> the blood world is a scary place.
<+Jessa> If there was a world 9 on any Mario game? It would be the Blood World.
<+JJ> Pokemon needs necromancers
<+JJ> Skelechu, I choose you
<+Jessa> And there, those wretched plumbers would drown in
horror.
<+JJ> Yeah!
<+JJ> damned dirty Itis
<+JJ> Get a REAL job!
<+Jessa> hahaha.
<+Jessa> I'm a Koopa sympathizer.
<+Jessa> because goombas are so cute.
<+JJ> Realistic mario would be terrifying
<+Jessa> oh! I have something to send you, JJ.
<+JJ> Is it a picture of my butt?
<+tinu> *thanks the anarchy!*
<+Jessa> NO. IT'S A PICTURE OF MINE.
<+JJ> Buttswap!
<+Jessa> Sharing is fun!
<+JJ> I shared my cheesecake but now I want more
<+JJ> That is one fine ass.
* +Jessa wiggles it
<+Jessa> I know, right?
<+JJ> I could do my taxes on that ass.

Sooner or later, it's all about the tentacles, again

<+MasqueofaRequiem> Do shortspears actually exist in the module?
<@JJ> No idea
<+MasqueofaRequiem> Or am I crazy when I see them come up in
'loot' finds?
<+Gongala> I hope not, Masque.
<+MasqueofaRequiem> That I am crazy or they exist?
<+Gongala> Between you and you rapier using bastards out there,
I don't know what to think.
<+Gongala> Use a real weapon, like the nine million longswords
in the module.
<+MasqueofaRequiem> Ha.
<+MasqueofaRequiem> Nah BASTARD sword.
<@JJ> Three armed hookerbot.
<+Gongala> I think there's more bastard swords than longswords.
<+MasqueofaRequiem> Which makes me curious.
<+Gongala> I've seen more katanas than rapiers.
<+MasqueofaRequiem> What is the appeal!
<@JJ> I hate bastard swords
<+Gongala> Nobles don't fence. They have samurai showdowns.



<+MasqueofaRequiem> My idea is that I use the tentacle 'model'
to hurl tiny crab things and when you kill the tentacle model it
stops hurling creatures.
<+North> Oi...
<+North> Careful.
<+JJ_Workies> Kind of hard for me to code that right now.
<+TsetiAtClass> Tentacles that give you crabs
<+North> The tentacle VFX lags like a bitch if overused.
<+MasqueofaRequiem> Well it's a loose concept.
<+TsetiAtClass> Masque, you are a GENIUS

He cooks, he's a smooth-talker, and he's great with kids. Yes, people, JJ is an android.

<+JJ> Actually...Oh! I'll do as much as I can tonight, then tomorrow during the day I'll cut the lemons, since I can't see in my kitchen anyway. Jessa, what should I do with the fruity innards of one lemon?
<+Jessa> Hmm. Well, what do you have for dinner tomorrow night?
<+JJ> Uh.
<+JJ> Maybe I have food...
<+Jessa> heh. Well, lemon juice is really good on chicken or over salads.
<+JJ> Alternatively
<+JJ> I could throw it at one of the neighborhood kids
<+Jessa> ...that sounds good. Do that.
<+Tseti> Add it to some water
<+Jessa> No, no, Tseti.
<+Jessa> He's throwing it at a neighborhood kid.
<+Jessa> This is more entertaining.
<+JJ> I need something witty to shout while I throw it
<+JJ> "FUCK YOU!"?
<+JJ> "Life is handing you lemons"?
<+JJ> "Gimme your bike!"?
<+Jessa> hahaha
<+Jessa> I like all of these.
<+Jessa> YOU NEED MORE LEMONS, JJ.
<+JJ> I have 3
<+Jessa> MAKE LEMONADE, YOU LITTLE BITCHES



<+JJ> Could be because this is coding and executing SQL queries, and I piss SQL in the morning and nom it for dinner at night
<+Jessa> I love your charming turns of phrase, JJ.
<+JJ> Why thank you
<+JJ> I'm secretly a computer or something
<+JJ> Programmed to LOOOVE

In the end, it's still all just monkey sex.

<+Tact> Hmm.
<+Tact> Suddenly, there are less clothes involved while I was reading this chat.
<+Jessa> oh, my.
<+Tseti> *waggles eyebrows* Details!
<+Tseti> I like my porn iwht a dominating scaly woman with horns?
<+Tseti> ...That wouldn't be the oddest thing I've watched
<+Jessa> why does that not surprise me.
<+Tseti> I think the rape incest tentacle monster being defeated by buddha would be


<+Tseti> JJ, do you have glasses?
<+JJ> I do
<+Goat> ... LOL
<+Tseti> What?
<+Goat> *cracking up*
<+Tseti> I admit to being a glasses fetishist.
<+Jessa> ...rawr. Guys with glasses are -hawt.-
<+Tseti> I've TOLD JJ that
<+Tseti> So its his own fault to admitting it!
<+Goat> Still
<+Goat> I'm laughing
<+Goat> quite loud
<+Tseti> Like Jessa, I am attracted to bad eyesight
<+Goat> Perfect
<+Goat> Because I'm blind
<+JJ> I don't have like, cock bottle frames
<+JJ> Coke.
<+JJ> Coke bottle.
<+Jessa> Well, they -are-. Guys with glasses are -very- sexy.
<+Goat> ...
<+JJ> Damn it.
<+Jessa> hahaha
<+Jessa> oh, poor Goat.
<+Goat> *pet pat*
* +Jessa hugs Goat
<+Jessa> oh...
<+Jessa> JJ, I mean.
<+Jessa> I'M BLIND, TOO.
<+JJ> Hooray!
* +Jessa hugs JJ, too.
<+JJ> We can take our glasses off
<+Goat> I'll take the blame if it means hugs!
<+JJ> and then we're not responsible for who we grope
<+Goat> Indeed!
<+Jessa> ...hawt.
<+Tseti> I actually have find eye sight
<+Tseti> I just like glasses.
<+JJ> ...We hold you responsible for your groping, then.
<+Tseti> Fine eye sight.
<+Goat> If I take my glasses off I can't see the words on the screen a foot and a halfa way :(
<+Tseti> I use sunglasses because my eyes are sensitive to light
<+Jessa> Yes, but if Tseti gropes, we just chalk it up to her being Tseti.



<+Tseti> pardon one hand typing


<+Tseti> >.> every time you fondle another man's balls, JJ, the AC fairy gives someone a brand new AC unit!
<+Goat> ... *snerk*
<+JJ> ...Only like, another 300 billion balls to go before I get one
<+Tseti> You should start with Goat! :D
<+JJ> Do I get an AC unit out of this?
<+Goat> XD
<+Goat> Indeed.
<+Tseti> Maybe if you do it for a really long time
<+Tseti> She'll give you one
<+JJ> ...Technically, gay sex is the manliest thing in the world. /over analysis
<+JJ> Well, actually, Isaiah Mustafa is the manliest thing in the world. Then that.
<+Tseti> The greeks thought so
<+Jessa> Tseti, will you at least get him a window unit if they send you gay pics?
<+Tseti> Hell no
<+Tseti> Needs to be videos
<+Jessa> ....get to work, boys.
<+Jessa> JJ needs an AC!



<+Tseti> And considering our closest relatives? really not a leap, if the recent studies claiming bonobos are closer are true
<+Goat> Penis fencing!
<+JJ> Heck yeah.
<+JJ> We can comment on things like "point control"
<+Jessa> haha.
<+Jessa> Bonobos = Awesome.
<+Jessa> Mad at someone? Rub your genitals together. Your friend's feelin' down? Rub your genitals together. Feelin' good? Who needs a high five, when you can rub your genitals together?
<+JJ> Guy-five
<+Jessa> It solves every situation for them except eati--wait.


<+Tseti> Fun fact: If you give Chimpanzees food for tokens, they will try to trade tokens for sex
<+Jessa> Indeed it is!
<+JJ> Fuck 2 am
<+Jessa> Yep, I remember you saying that.
<+JJ> Fun fact: If you give a man a free shot token at a bar
<+JJ> He will attempt to trade that for sex
<+JJ> ...So really, we've not come so far.


<+JJ> I like my liquor like I like my women
<+Goat> Maybe a bit less now, since I"ve been sick
<+JJ> Straight, and able to make my life miserable
<+Jessa> Wow. You really should go for bi and able to make you insanely happy. For serious.
<+JJ> Bi is fine, really
<+Jessa> though I'm not sure how liquor can be bi. We'll have to work on that.
<+JJ> It goes both ways
<+JJ> Actually..
<+JJ> That means I throw it back up
<+JJ> No thanks

Oh, JJ. We're not really surprised.

<+Jessa> I need a nap.
<+Jessa> just a short one, I think.
<+JJ> Psh
<+JJ> I'll short you
<+Jessa> You'd be the person to do it.


* +Jessa hides
* +JJ and go seeks
* +Jessa jumps out and pokes JJ in the ribs.
* +JJ lacks ribs, in a failed attempt to create a harem
<+Jessa> hahahaha
<+Tseti> JJ is not ribbed for your poking pleasure.
<+JJ> I am a xylophone!



<+Tseti> I wish I had dates this willing to go down


<+Jessa> done with pnp!
<+JJ> I read pimp
<+JJ> I will stick with that, in fact
<+Jessa> JJ, baby, I could never be done with you.
<+Jessa> ...and that's as cheesily flirty as I'm gonna get at this hour.
<+JJ> Psh
<+Jessa> I HAVE HALF BAKED! YUM.
<+JJ> If you want cheesy flirty, eat this other burrito of mine.
<+Jessa> ...TSETI.
<+Jessa> Did you detect any innuendo, there?
<+Jessa> >.>
<+Jessa> <.<
<+JJ> Penis.
<+Jessa> Nevermind, Tseti. Your services are no longer required.

<+Tseti> ...Vagina!
<+Tseti> Sorry, I was IG and getting tea
<+Jessa> That'd be a taco, Tseti. A pink one.
<+Jessa> brb!
<+Tseti> I hate ordering fish tacos at restuarants
<+Jessa> hahahaha
<+Tseti> On the one hand I want my damn fish taco
<+Tseti> On the other...Well...Its like ordering a sausage
<+Jessa> hahahahaha
<+JJ> I always ask for my sausage extra long, and sticking up
<+JJ> So I can eat it without silverware

My Crotch Cannon beats your Boob Lasers

* @Peepsy hugs all wanting hugs, and hands Tseti a marshmellow.
* +Jessa hugs Peepers
<+Jessa> Night!
<+Tseti> Is that a euphemism?
<+Jessa> maybe it's for roasting on your firecrotch?
<@JJ> Psh
<@JJ> Charmander.
<@JJ> I'll be squirtle if she's Charmander-Croth
<+Jessa> ...wow, I read that as "Commander Crotch" first.
<@JJ> ...
* JJ is now known as Commander_Crotch
<@Commander_Crotch> Hell yeah.
<+Jessa> haha.
<+Tseti> Dammit JJ
<+Tseti> I was going to do that
<+Jessa> Nice, JJ.
<@Commander_Crotch> My crotch is a better General than yours.
<@Commander_Crotch> You can be lieutenant crotch though
* Tseti is now known as Emperor_Genitals
<+Emperor_Genitals> Jessa
<@Commander_Crotch> Noooooooooo!
* Commander_Crotch is now known as Vulva_Zela
<+Jessa> Lovely.
<+Jessa> And I'm with you, there, Tseti. Cheesecake = amazing.
<@Vulva_Zela> I make annoying noises and am cheap and sexual.
<+Jessa> And you can cook. What a catch.
* Emperor_Genitals is now known as WhoreFace
<+WhoreFace> So am I, JJ, so am I
<@Vulva_Zela> We could form the STD Voltron
* WhoreFace is now known as HerpesCrotch
<+HerpesCrotch> Okay. I'm ready to go.
* Vulva_Zela is now known as GonorArms
<+HerpesCrotch> You can't be BOTH arms
<@GonorArms> But
<+HerpesCrotch> No >: (
<+HerpesCrotch> That is not how you form a voltron
<+HerpesCrotch> Fuck this, I am going to Crotch Cannon on MY OWN
* GonorArms is now known as SyphilisHead
<@SyphilisHead> There.
<@SyphilisHead> I am the bloody horrible crazy head.
<+HerpesCrotch> Much better.
* HerpesCrotch is now known as HerpesTorso
<+HerpesTorso> Come join us, Jessa!
<+Jessa> I...think I'll pass.
<+Jessa> I'm pretty happy being free of STDs.
<+HerpesTorso> Awww.
<+Goat> Gonnasyphaherpales!
* HerpesTorso is now known as Tseti
<@SyphilisHead> Such a shame.
* SyphilisHead is now known as JJ
<+Tseti> It was a quadriplegic STD voltron
<@JJ> Syphilis is a killer disease.
<+Jessa> You made it sound so...Greek, Goat.



<+Tseti> Byyyeeeee
* @JJ (JJ@dm-36458.pitbpa.fios.verizon.net) Quit (Exit: ~ Trillian Astra - www.trillian.im ~)
<+Tseti> Have sex with your psuedo brother
<+Tseti> Fuck

JJ has mad skillz

<+Graphyte> Oh, Roleplay
<+Graphyte> I know how that works
<@Paper> JJ, you know how to cyber
<@Paper> that's not real rp
<+Sapphyre> hehehe
<+Graphyte> *Slowly inserts the tip...reaching around to crank the handle. the machine makes a gentle grinding noise as it works, before the tip is withdrawn. He blows on the tip, admiring the new pristine edge. And then drops his pencil again* FUCK!
<+Graphyte> Something like that, right?


<+Jessa> I'm exhausted and annoyed.
<+Leve`Dara> :/
<+JJ> That's how I usually leave women. =(

Quotewhores

<+Jessa> do you even READ the quote page?
<+Jessa> IT'S ALMOST ALL TSETI
<+Tseti> JJ is like, the other half
<+JJ> I'm a half of something!
<+Tseti> PERVERT TWIN POWERS UNITE
<+Tseti> FORM OF....DISTURBING PORN!
<+JJ> Form of...Um, a giant walkin' talkin' dick?
<+Tseti> ATM SEX!
<+JJ> ATM sex?
<+JJ> What, you put your pin in and get a hand job?
<+North> If you can't even specify the type of disturbing pr0n I can't get off on it, Tseti.
<+North> Tentacles?
<+North> plz.
<+Tseti> No JJ
<+Tseti> Ass to Mouth
<+JJ> Oh.
<+North> Oh.
<+JJ> ...I liked mine better.



<+Tseti> Jessa, quote that
<+Jessa> quoted!
<+JJ> I'm going to quote you in the face. =(
<+Jessa> Wait til our honeymoon, dear. I'm not -that- kind of girl.
<+Tseti> Not until you buy me a quote dinner, you quotehole
<+JJ> Look
<+JJ> There's enough JJ-quote to go around, dears
<+JJ> But not enough food
<+JJ> it's all mine.
<+Tseti> I'm going to quote the quoting furry then
<+JJ> I am going to eat until I have body-mass.
<+North> Fuck.
<+Tseti> You mother quoter.
<+JJ> QUOTE YOU!

Go, Go, Gadget *censored*!

<+theanarchy> where do you live
<+JJ> The other side of the country
<+JJ> ~
<+JJ> In a shithole apartment that I got for a song. Sometimes I have to call and sing a new song
<+JJ> In order to keep it


<+Tseti> DOWN WITH LAW!!! BOOOO
<+JJ> Down with slaw!
<+theanarchy> no way, Eustass Law was a badass character
<+Tseti> Down with claws!
<+Tseti> yeah, I'm talking to you, Dr. Claw. Whatcha going to do about it?
<+theanarchy> Go go gadget copter!
<+Jessa> It's a good thing Tseti didn't write that show.
<+theanarchy> Oh god.
<+Jessa> all of Inspector Gadgets "gadgets" would be sex toys, implements of torture, or both.
<+theanarchy> Go go gadget _____
<+Tseti> Peniscopter!
<+Tseti> Some would be canons
<+Tseti> To shoot fluffy bunnies!



<+Leve`AfK> popcorn!
<+JJ> Cockporn

Don't mind that burning sensation - it's just Tseti

* @Peepsy archs a brow
<@Tseti> Your mom was arched last night.


* +Chimaera sets fire to Tseti's "lawn"
<@Tseti> Damn kids and their fucking rioting
<@Tseti> I'm motherfucking sick of these motherfucking kids on the motherfucking lawn!
<@Peepsy> * +Chimaera sets fire to Tseti's "lawn" <- ... Firecrotch?
* @Peepsy ducks
<+Jessa> ...why am I getting a horrible pic...yes.
* Tseti is now known as Firecrotch
<+Jessa> that's just what I was thinking.
<@Firecrotch> BOW BEFORE THE BURNING SENSATION



<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> Dub, let's cyber. I'm a 10 foot tall tenctacle demon with flaming tentacles. You?
<+Dubiosity> Err...
<+Dubiosity> The same, but with bigger, thicker tentacles.
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> Hey! its not the size that counts, but the blaze of the inferno

* Firecrotch is now known as Demonlord_Firecrotch
<+Dubiosity> That is giving me unpleasant thoughts.
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> If this is the first thing I've said that has given you disturbing thoughts
<+Jessa> Tseti is good for unpleasant thoughts.
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> I am mildly worried


<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> I need black horns and black armor with a flaming codpiece
* @Peepsy ... roasts weenies on Demonlord_Firecrotch?
<@Peepsy> >_>
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> that I use to defeat my enemies



<+Dubiosity> Perhaps you're not firey enough and should be... Crotchblaze? Infernocrotch?
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> Tentacle Demonlord Infernocrotch?
<+Dubiosity> Why not.
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> That way I can cockslap someone in the face AND burn their hair!
<@Demonlord_Firecrotch> Hey baby, you're immune to fire. But are you immune to a sticky sensation in the face?
<+Dubiosity> For some reason I'm mildly excited now.

That's a damn fine sandwich, man

<+Jessa> But if Varun comes to see you on his way here...
<+Jessa> I am requesting...
<+Jessa> No...DEMANDING...
<+Jessa> a play by play on what you eat.
* Jessa nods
<+JJ> Pictures of me licking his nose while balancing a spoon on my ear?
<+JJ> Oh good, because pictures of me are entirely out of the question
<+Jessa> ...that sounds interesting, but I'm much more interested in what you'd feed him. *laughs.*
<+JJ> His ass is getting a Primanti's sammich
<+Jessa> ooooh.
<+Jessa> I have heard nothing but good things about them.
<+Jessa> Like I said, Jeremy tells me all the good stuff.
<+JJ> Imagine sex
<+JJ> Now make it better and put it on a sandwich
* Jessa laughs
<+Jessa> that IS good.
<+JJ> Like, it doesn't make you hot and sticky and there's little clean up
<+JJ> But it doesn't do much for your penis.
<+JJ> the penis that you have.

Those Lucky Swiss Mountaineers

<@Peepsy> Dorothy Mantooth is a saind!
<@Peepsy> ..
<@Peepsy> Saint
<+JJ> Your mother is a saint
<@Peepsy> Your mother is a Saint... Bernard
<+JJ> I wish
<+JJ> I'd put booze around her neck

Just another day at #CormyrDales

<+Tseti> JJ
<@JJ> Tseti?
<+Tseti> You know a dress can be lifted, right?
<@JJ> Nope.
<@JJ> I don't believe in dresses made of anything but lead and concrete.
<@JJ> So Supes can't see my boobs.
<+Tseti> You officially fail at kinky sex


<@Peepsy> She broke into the Eversong Manor to talk to her..
<@Peepsy> And Kori came out like.. bitch..
<@Peepsy> WTF are you doing in my house?
<+JJ> "I'm in yer house fuckin' yer war wizards"

<+Jessa> Goat!
<+Jessa> Have you seen the quote page?
<+JJ> Goat quotes for quoted goats
<+Jessa> It grows longer by the...well, almost by the hour!
<+JJ> ...That's what she said.
<+Jessa> hahaha. *adds this to the list*


<+MasqueReq> I love it has a content warning.
<+MasqueReq> Testi! This is a homage to your mind.
<+MasqueReq> A dark, dark homage posted in an obscure place on the internet ...which might be the safest place.
<+Cold-Comfort> And a great economic stimulus as well. Bleach and scouring pad industry index up ten points.


<+Tseti> When do you turn legal and I can safely tell you to put sausages into your mouth?

So much cooler than the Power Rangers

<+Tseti> GO TEAM PERVERT
<+Tseti> We will form together like Voltron
<+Tseti> JJ will be the head
<+Tseti> I will be the smaller head, as I am shorter
<+Jessa> Tseti will be the crotch.

It's the Motion of the Ocean, Baby

<@JJ> eklect me ruler of the world
<@JJ> And I'll declare mandatory nap time
<+Jessa> and ANOTHER new post, because Tseti's was getting too long.
<+Tseti> Elect me ruler of the world and I will build hooker bots
* +Chimaera blinks
<+Tseti> Yeah, being too long is a problem.
* +Chimaera got a little lost
<+Jessa> will they have flamethrowers for nipples?
<@JJ> Tseti
<+Tseti> No, blow darts.
<+Jessa> even better.
<@JJ> You can be my co-ruler in charge of hooke-rbots
<+Tseti> (Mine is longer then JJ's)
<@JJ> (I can use mine better)


<+Tseti> (Mine takes batteries, so it vibrates)
<@JJ> (Mine vibrates because I'm FUCKING AWESOME)
<+Tseti> (You need to drink less coffee)
<@JJ> (You need to drink more coffee. not my fault you can't keep up with me!)
<+Tseti> (Pfft. Plastic means never having to say you're sorry for a failed erection)
<+Tseti> (Or 6am dry humping in her sleep)
<+Tseti> (Or a funny colored discharge)

Steve Jobs, eat your heart out

<+Tseti> Through I wonder if a female real doll is still better then a man at pleasing a woman
<+Tseti> I am inclined...To say yes
<@JJ> Psh, go fuck your female real doll then~
<+Tseti> Eh, a real live lesbian would be cheaper
<@JJ> Maybe
<+Tseti> Hell, I think a few dozen hookers might be cheaper as well
<@JJ> Probably


<+Tseti> I thought JJ was a female real doll
<+Tseti> I thought we could get married and live happily ever after
<@JJ> I am
<@JJ> You found my secret.
<+Tseti> Okay
<+Tseti> We're getting married
<+Tseti> I hope you look good in red
<@JJ> I am a cooking cleaning bot
<+Tseti> And I want roses for the wedding
<+Tseti> Fuck yeah
<+Jessa> ...nope, sorry. JJ's already promised.
<@JJ> I look good in anything, baby.
<+Jessa> You can't have him, real doll or not, 'cause he cooks. That's -mine-.
<+Tseti> Screw that, I want a vibrator that cooks and cleans
<@JJ> Cleaning, eg.
<@JJ> Eh
<+Tseti> It's like having a boyfriend, without that annoying free will
<@JJ> The apple iClean.

For a good time, call T-S-E-T-I

<+Tseti> I've asked Peepsy to make a warning just for me
<+Tseti> Not to toot my own horn, but I have scared off at least two people
<+Jessa> I am, thankfully, not easily scared.
<+Jessa> Though Tseti does require a warning label for the faint of heart/stomach or strong of morals.
* Peepsy changes topic to 'Welcome to CormyrDales IRC chat. - If you're offended by 18+ content, I wholey advise you type /ignore Tseti - You've been warned. !quote for our quoteblog.'
<+Jessa> Best warning label EVER.



<+Tseti> Hrm. So I guess in comedy terms, I am the comic. Who wishes to be my dead wood?
<@Peepsy> I'll rub my dea-
<@JJ> Stop killin' muh trees


<+Jessa> Jeremy has given you a new nickname, Tseti.
<+Jessa> (Reminder: Jeremy is he of the four balls.)
<+Tseti> What is my nickname?
<+Jessa> He has now dubbed you "Tseticles." And I am so quoting that, Peepers.
<+Tseti> I think I need a new name
<@JJ> Jack O'Neil.
<+Tseti> Because I lack testicles or tseticles
<@JJ> I dub you Jack O'Neil.
<@JJ> If you refuse, too bad!
<+Tseti> Oi, top of the morning and luck of the irish to you! I love me guiness! You'll never get my lucky charms
<+Jessa> So you say. But that chick in the epilogue of Oglaf? I can so see that being you. So fake "tseticles" aren't too far-fetched.
<+Tseti> I have actually never done that
<+Tseti> For some reason most men don't want something in their ass
<+Tseti> I think I've had one ex ask for that.
<@Peepsy> Lawl.
<+Tseti> I maintained she missed one of god's greatest gifts
<@JJ> I am assless, and therefore cannot comment.
<+Tseti> voyuerism
<+Tseti> Well, the poop has to come out somehow, we'll just stick it in the hole
<+Tseti> Or your mouth, that works too


<+Tseti> I think all of our minds are in the gutter
<+Tseti> Just like, different gutters
<+Tseti> In different countries


<+Tseti> I don't know if Dr. Doom ever had a girlfriend
<@JJ> He sucks
<@JJ> At the dating scene
<+Tseti> Huh
<+Tseti> Usually, sucking makes you a better date

<+Tseti> I need the power to rob a man of an erection instnatly

Everybody loves JJ (Just pray he doesn't love you back)

<+JJ> Last time I told someone I loved them
<+JJ> I sold their corpse on ebay


<+JJ> If a tiefer with wings and a tail takes RDD levels
<+JJ> What happens when she earns wings and a tail?
<+Jessa> ...
<+Jessa> that's a good fucking question.
<+JJ> "I AM THE FREAK OF THE EAST! LOOK AT MY MULTILAYERED WINGS! ...Seriously, I'm like a fuckin' wasp or something."


<+JJ> I love the internet
<+JJ> Didn't mean to click that link. Suddenly, BOOBS!


<+JJ> So damned hot
<+Jessa> Why yes. Yes, I am.


<+Jessa> Special JJ edition of the quote page!
<+Jessa> he's kind of on a roll, tonight.
<+JJ> I am butter.

She holds the Universe in her...no, really

<+Tseti> Supes ain't my fave
<+Tseti> But Lex is down right entertaining for me
<@JJ> He's my least favorite
<@JJ> Lex would be my favorite if he rolled out the kryptonite tanks
<+Jessa> I am a comic book -nerd-...however, Superman was never a fave of mine.
<+Jessa> My buddy Benny and I both kind of have a jones for Power Girl, though.
<@JJ> Superman as a character is just so damned uninteresting
<+Jessa> ...the boobs help.
<+Tseti> You mean Tit girl?
<+Jessa> mmmmrrrrr.
<+Tseti> You know why those are so large, right?
<@JJ> They hold the universe?


<+Cold-Comfort> erf. Back later, sex.
<+Jessa> Nice, CC.
<+Jessa> I'm quoting that.
<+JJ_Oof> ...I try not to throw up, and he gets laid,.
<+JJ_Oof> Where's the justice in this world?

Fun with Food

<@JJ> I'm nearly afraid to ask
<@JJ> did you get to buscuit reference from earlier?
<+Jessa> I unfortunately did.
<+Jessa> I have had that explained to me, before.
* +Jessa shudders
<@JJ> Yeah
<@JJ> I learned about it...
<@JJ> When someone asked some dude to be the biscuit.
<+Tseti> ...
<+Tseti> I don't know if i should be excited or appalled
<@JJ> What?
<+Tseti> Nothing!



<+Tseti> I am fonfuzzled
<@JJ> by what?
<+Tseti> is he trying to flirt by suggesting her arm is tasty?
<@JJ> she, herself, is tasty
<+Tseti> ...Casanova he is not

Those nouns had it coming, I tell you.

<+Jessa> ...so do I really want to know about the topic?
<@JJ> What?
<+Jessa> Congratulations to our own Tact and Ave for joining the Circlejerk team.
<@JJ> Circlejerk team?
<+Jessa> hell if I know, I'm asking you guys!
<@JJ> Ave'n Tact are DMs. I missed the topic since I ignore it pretty much always
<+Tseti> Teases
<+Tseti> its not a real circle jerk
<@JJ> I'm not eating the biscuit.

<+Jessa> Might just play my rogue until my saaaaammich gets here.
<+Jessa> Kill a few things. Killing things always makes me happy. :p
<@JJ> I would totally
<@JJ> Um, verb the hell out of some nouns.



<+Tseti> ARGH
<+Tseti> If google is stalking me
<@JJ> What?
<+Tseti> Why are they adverisitng sports where I can't see bums to me???



<@JJ> Jess
<+Jessa> Yes, JJ?
<@JJ> Help me build a man-cave
<+Jessa> A man-cave?
<@JJ> Every man must have a man cave
<@JJ> It's usually a big soft chair
<+Tseti> ....Is that a euphemism for your butt?
<@JJ> some sort of electronic device
<@JJ> and some alcohol.
<@JJ> No, my butt is my man-ass
<@JJ> And my workshop? My man-shop.
<+Tseti> Penis?
<@JJ> My manness
<@JJ> My burrito? Manrito.


<@JJ> Peepsy, you need some functionality in the bot
<@JJ> To play some barry white when I type !sex muzak



<+Tseti> Respect my frilly dress, you scaly egg-suckers!

Like genetics, we just can't get away from it

<+JJ> I'm warning ahead of time, once I finish this homework, I'm abandoning you =(
<+JJ> I have work and class tomorrow, and it is oh so much ass
<+Tseti> Do you need to leave to focus on the homework? That's fine, JJ
<+JJ> Nope
<+Tseti> I'll flirt with Jessa
<+JJ> If I leave, I'll probably go fuck around in the kitchen, play with my cat
<+JJ> etc
<+JJ> If I stay here, I have fun and actually do work
<+Jessa> ...does that make you a clit tease, since I'm a chick? Just asking for clarification, Tseti.
<+theanarchy> stop playin with pussy, JJ
<+theanarchy> do hw
<+JJ> No
<+JJ> I like soft warm things


<+FST_AFK> Dominant genes express whether or not they both agree...it only has to come from one parent to express
<+Tseti> You forgot about partial dominance and codominance
* +Silrentrent bombs the russians
<+FST_AFK> ...but..a red hair gene that isn't expressed, can't increase the fitness of an individual organism...because they don't have the trait.
* +Silrentrent sucks a guys dick
<+Tseti> I am suddenly paying attention to Mark
* +Silrentrent sucks his own dick!
<+FST_AFK> ...
<+Jessa> that's all it really takes.
<+Tseti> Not for that individual, no, but recessive genes DO spread through populations
<+Jessa> Tseti loves her some gay porn.
<+Tseti> Take Blonde hair. Rather common little recessive gene
<+FST_AFK> I've seen pictures of that. It might have been Silent too...
<+Silrentrent> I get around.